I’m Scared to Say the Wrong Thing

“I don’t want to trigger them.”

“I feel like whatever I say might make it worse.”

“I used to be confident with my child. Now I second-guess everything.”

These aren’t just frustrations.

They’re grief in disguise.

Many parents of children with OCD or intrusive thoughts reach a point where they become afraid to speak. Not because they’ve done something wrong, but because they’re trying so hard not to make things worse.

The Fear Behind the Silence

When a child is in pain, especially the confusing, shape-shifting pain of OCD, parents often feel they’ve entered unfamiliar territory.

One wrong word and the mood shifts.

One unguarded comment and the ritual escalates.

One innocent question and suddenly there’s shouting, crying, or silence.

And so you pull back. You get careful.

You speak in safer tones, shorter sentences.

Until one day, you realise you’re barely speaking at all.

Protective Silence

This isn’t just communication fatigue.

It’s silence worn like armour—meant to protect the child, but slowly isolating the parent.

We understand it. Truly.

But here’s what we want you to know:

You matter more than the perfect script.

What your child needs most is your presence—not your perfection.

They need you to stay connected, even if your words come out messy.

Because when parents go quiet, not out of peace but fear, the child’s world shrinks even more.

Symbolic Weight Lives in Your Voice

Even if your child snaps at you, ignores you, or insists they “don’t want to talk about it”—your words still carry symbolic weight.

Your tone says: “I’m still here.”

Your question says: “I think you matter enough to be curious about.”

Your attempt says: “You are not untouchable.”

So What Can You Say, Even When It Feels Like a Minefield?

Here are some examples that won’t fix everything, but might help:

• “I’m not trying to make it worse—I just want to understand what’s hard right now.”

• “You don’t have to explain it all. I’m just here if it’s getting heavy.”

• “I know it’s scary. I feel a bit scared too. But I’d rather say the wrong thing than say nothing at all.”

It’s okay to wonder aloud. Curiosity is not intrusion—it’s invitation.

And Maybe You’ve Noticed…

That you keep asking the same question.

“Why won’t this change?”

That, too, is a kind of repetition.

You and your child might be stuck together.

Which means… you can move together—when the time is right.

Final Thought

You’re allowed to get it wrong.

In fact, trying—and staying in the room afterwards—might be one of the most healing things you can do.

We don’t need you to be perfect.

We need you to stay in connection.

Because the moment they seem unreachable is often when they’re aching for someone to stay close—even if they don’t show it.